The World’s Largest Florida Retiree
After I tell a woman I am the world’s largest
manufacturer of medicated lollipops, anything
can happen. One especially fetching brunette broke
into tears on the middle of the dance floor--
one big blonde busted out laughing, then
wouldn’t shut up about it, kept repeating
“medicated lollipops,” haw-hawing like a donkey.
Yep, it’s a real litmus test alright. The indians
who used to live around here ate each other
which surprises me because the weather’s warm,
which means they never had to worry about shelter,
and the water’s right there which means fish to eat, so
what was the problem? Too much leisure time
maybe? Is cannibalism only wrong because
it’s against the law? I’m asking because you seem like
a nice person, and because you haven’t moved
in a while. Hey, I know what would cheer you up--
have a lollipop--pick a color: I got cherry red,
lemon yellow, purple grape, orange orange, parrot green…
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