Rachel V., VI., VII.!

April Fifth

Beware friends!
The pools of Williamsburg
Be rife with chlorine
Lest they be violated--
Defecated in
By shaggy youths
In tweed who
Daily admire their reflections
In the water's
Placid surface.

Beware these youths
My dear ones!
They do not like themselves
Their clothes are rank with
The sweat of the dead
And they will
Pee on you
Should you bed them.

April Sixth

My ex-boyfriend's
Ex-girlfriend
Works as a hostess at
Chili's
Her matronly
Bosom snug in its
Jalapeno-ed waistcoat
Her eyes fierce with
The rancor of the
Saharan sun.

"You're fat and you'll
Always be
Fat"
She hisses
"And besides,
I hate you"
So Sam and I
Go up to the roof of the mall
And take off all our clothes
And put on
Togas made of sheets
We stole from the
Dillard's Linen Department
And when she emerges
Gum-popping, keys jangling
We kill her
With a lightning bolt
Drawn from the quiver of Zeus.

Of course, this is
A dream, but Oprah
Says that every child
Has the power to make their
Dreams reality.

April Seventh

Come, my love! And
Ride with me
You on your stallion and
I on my mare
Canter, we, through glades and dells
The ripples of our rich new cloaks
Like the undulations of
Our Mother Sea

My Hair!
My Hair is so Long!
The Shining Cloud of my bright Hair
Reaches past the wooden heels
Of my cunning leather slippers
And your Hair, my knight
Your Hair is also nice
And Long as well
Mangy, as a true Man's Hair
Should be.

When our horses grow tired
And stop to feed on fragrant
Rushes and squeeze their
Horse's-waste from out
Their velvet rumps
So shall you and I
Sweetheart
For see! Never
Not even to your
Filth. And when comes Night,
My Lord,
You shall bind me
To the Rowan
Tree of Lovers and
As your torque of knighthood
Burns agains my flesh
How we shall worship the Goddess
Together!

And how proudly shall I
Display the bites and
Bruises of our love
To my ladies as we
Change for gym
And they won't laugh
This time
Like they did at the
Chastity belt you made me wear
When you were in the
Holy Land
And not in
Algebra
Like they said.