Football Poetry by Derek Edward Mix

Derek's most recent work of poetry is a jubilant celebration of the state of things NFL-wise (but is necessarily not without a hint of desperation.) A note for the uninitiated: "Shrim" is Derek's pet tapir.

XXXIX

A Look at the NFC

Look at this mess
It's anybody's guess
What the difference
Between the worst and best?
And who the hell is even going to win the West?

Will it finally be the year
To end the Philly tears
When the McNabbs
Decide to take a stab
At getting in the big game?
I don't think so,
Without T.O.
Who's gonna make
The Eagles offense go?

And don't tell me Vick
The notion makes me sick
Dome teams always fall like a brick

It could be the Pack
With a sneak attack
If Favre puts the whole team on his back
Speaking of Favre, we sure like him
And the Pack in the Bowl would sure please Shrim

Panther fever, back from the dead?
The defending conference champs with a price on their head?
The Seahawks, naw they're massive flakes,
And the Rams and Saints are patsy cakes
The Vikings are the biggest duds
I wouldn't trust them to chew their own cud

So what do we know, who won't it be?
The Gmen, Skins and San Fran C
The Boyz - nope
The Cards, yeah right
The Bucs hardly put up a fight
The Bears sucked
The Lions did their thing
These teams can regroup next spring

So it's a wide open race
In 04-05
Who the hell do you think will survive?

The Durge Report

Today is Sybil Durgin's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE DURGE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE DURGE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR THE DURGE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE DURGE!

And many more...

Brooklyn Ocean's 112

Merry Christmas from deep in the Brooklyn Ocean!

Fishes,

Come see a staged reading of Rachel Shukert's new play. I'll be playing several roles. That'll take place at 10 PM on Thursday and Friday at "Here" performance space on 6th Ave and Spring St.

Also, help Maureen celebrate the release of her book "Novelty Act." Info here.

Finally, come by the Frequency on Sunday to help celebrate the upcoming inaugural issue of The Tiny, a new magazine edited by Gina Myers and Gabrielle Torres. For the first time since I took over as curator of theFrequency, I will be reading. You won't want to miss me introducing myself. More info here.

xo,
Shafer

The Durge Report

At Sybil Durgin's Christmas party last Saturday night, she kissed Chattanooga Choo Choo star Broadway Joe Namath under the mistletoe.

Ahem

that'll be MIRANDA, John, and Matvei at Frequency on Sunday, not the aforementioned Maureen.

"Words are so crucial you ought to be willing to take a good beating for them."

So I was just fucking around inside my own blog, sort of wishing that it was more like Josh Corey's, and I dejectedly clicked on the thought-to-be-defunct link to my favorite website, Eyeshot, only to discover that it is BACK IN ACTION!

So I've got some catching up to do.

The subject header for this post is from this very funny thing.

Joshua Corey

may or may not have a few copies of the Aubergine collection left. It'll have poems by Maureen, Shanna, myself, and a handful of other poetical he-spies and she-spies. Swing by his blog and fire off an email to try to reserve your copy. While you're there you can read delightful poetry like this, from his poem Alice, or Awkward:

A game girl-shape came glimmering through the dusk,
clattering goth gestures with her spine, hair, and hands.

Lately

I've been waking up very early in the morning, writing poems like this one, and then going back to bed to dream about leaving the apartment.

Counting Our Christmas Blessings

The way that wheat sits inside some people
like a demon in Native American popcorn
makes them so hospitalized, their pious intestines
so confounded, so angry.

Food allergies are so precious.
People keep them their whole lives.

I’ll never be allergic to food -- I’m not
so generous, but my pine needle nose
can never make it through Christmas
without sneezing. It’s such a
selfish way to make my own holiday.

Hellooo Poetry Readings!

This Sunday afternoon at 1 PM (promptly) I'll be reading with tons of nice folks at the Good Foot Issue 5 magazine release party. There will be ten very short readings by ten very good poets, so if (like me) you need high-powered drugs to pay attention to things, this would be a good reading for you. If (like Maureen) you're just really good at paying attention to stuff, then congratulations and you'll like this reading too. It's at the Bowery Poetry Club and the full info is below.

Immediately after the reading, I'll be dashing over to the Face for cocktails and The Frequency, which will be a really kickass reading from Maureen, Matvei, and John. That'll bring the Total Number of Poets Heard on Sunday (TNPHS) to lucky number 13, and we can spend the rest of the day watching our favorite football teams lose horribly. If you need any info on the Four Faced Liar or the Frequency Series, just let me know.

So thats

Good Foot Celebrates Issue 5!

Please join us for a celebration & reading!
Sunday, December 12 promptly at 1pm
Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery in NYC

Event is free with the purchase of Issue 5! ($8)

Readers will include:
Bob Holman
Hal Sirowitz
Rosanne Wasserman
Fred Yannantuono
Susan Maurer
Bill Kushner
Shafer Hall
Tim Suermondt
Anyssa Kim
Jeffrey Jullich

Want more info or directions to the Bowery Poetry Club?
Visit: www.bowerypoetry.com or call 212.614.0505

A Non-Frequency Posting.

I'm going to try to put up at least one non-Frequency posting between every Frequency posting from now on, lest this become the What's Up With Frequency Blog.

Here's a brand new (pretty funny) poem by myself and Jennifer L. Knox.


Sunrise over Circus Circus with Only the Lighter Fluid Left Unspent

This is the morning of our conversation, with
purple answers suddenly flushing pink;

I'll defy you to ask those dangerous
questions smoldering in your perm:

Why you aced me, clubbed me;
why you balked over one discarded heart?

Spotting suits is like bird watching or
choreographing elaborately faggotty

military attacks on the stupid ones. We'll be
dressed all in green, and not in a leafy way,

flipping over cards (War) while ignoring the
insufferable dipshits trying to pinpoint how

this piss/rug smelling hair disguises
a love of close shaves: to

get categorically kicked out of
all clubs--kings and queens--

your face faced yourself
playing the dumb-dumb card

but you were WARNED, with
a woodpecker of a woman

sounding a high-pitched, purposeful
cry about your razor burn but

wait'll you smell how it smells
when I set it all on fire.

Karaoke + Poetry + Frequency = Fun

Frequency this week will host the Daniel Nester's Karaoke Plus Poetry Equals Fun. This is going to be a riot and major fun. Full info at the KPF site and below:

Saturday, December 4
at Four-Faced Liar
as part of the Frequency Series
165 West 4th Street
Greenwich Village
3:00pm - 6:00pm

Readers/singers confirmed so far:

Samantha Hunt Sarah Manguso Christian Hawkey Shappy Shafer Hall Gregory Pardlo Jim Behrle Joshua Beckman Jennifer L. Knox Ada Limón

Plus: an opening set from the editors of Ubiquitous,the literary magazine of the Pratt Institute

The Durge Report

Sybil Durgin was busted firing roman candles at her neighbors' dog and was last seen "headed South."